"Please tell me about your mother"

As a cultural/intellectual historian, I don't often feel comfortable framing the world's events in terms of causes and effects.  And as a post-poststructuralist (I suppose), though admittedly becoming increasingly interested in Epicurean epistemology, I certainly question whether we can make truth-claims about a world external to ourselves.  Shoot, I even question whether we can honestly make truth-claims about ourselves.  That being said, because I now have an income that doesn't require as much close monitoring and because I decided this week to play a little technological catch-up, I decided to set up online bill-pay.  See, this rambling introit (wow, introitus is a very different word) is to lead up to the effect: I set up online bill-pay this week.

When you set up online bill-pay with SallieMae you are eligible for a monthly contest to have up to $25,000 of your students loans paid off!  So I was on board (another cause for the effect I guess and see, this is why strict causality in the history of ideas is so problematic; individuals draw on a constellation of resources to motivate their thoughts and behaviors).  Anyway, when setting up your online account you must also set up no less than five "challenge questions" and their affiliated answers (case sensitive!  note to self not to forget that).  I flipped through the options: your first car, your first school, the name of your favorite pet, etc.  

Then one in particular caught my eye: your worst fear.

wha?

Do people actually use that one?  And if they do what kind of answers do they give?  I mean, if I had to use it I suppose I'd probably say something like "millipedes" or "tornadoes with alligators in them."  But do other SallieMaeonline members give answers like "dying alone"?  I'm really curious now.  Oooh, or maybe SallieMae has an automatic answer for that one of "debt collectors."

Things that are cheaper in Mississippi

1. dry cleaning

2. beer

3. over-the-counter pregnancy tests

(yes, they're listed in descending order of cost)

So I've started hanging out with a group of local cyclists.  Sort of.  In the sense that I go to their Thursday evening bring-your-own-wine to the Italian/Bagel place.  Some of them are also runners and have an informal running group which they invited me to join. Wanting to make new friends I said sure.  And thinking that I could keep up with a bunch of forestry professors I joined them in their morning run yesterday.  

We met at the track.  

A bad sign.  

What kind of casual running group does interval training at 6 am?!

I mean, I like running 800s as much as the next person but I don't know if this is best way to meet new people, being that I was fighting back an asthma attack the whole time. 

Then, when I got back to my car I discovered that the first robin of spring had pooped on my door handle.

I may just go back to drinking beer with the philosophers.

Today I ate six cookies!

sublimity - bump; secretiveness - declension; philoprogenitiveness - by=ump

So the very best thing about my Valentine's "date" was that I had a phrenological reading done of my head by a specialist in Victorian literature.

The raw results:

order - bump

number - declension

form - bump

poetry - declension

sublimity - bump

benevolence - bump

veneration - bump

agreeableness - bump

youth -bump

imitation - bump

destructive - mega bump

cautiousness - bump

secretiveness - declension

ideality - bump

parental - bump

philoprogenitiveness - bump

The analysis:

Intellectual: Excessively organized, incredibly good spatial sense, no talent in poetry

(I figure this is why I'm so good at efficiently loading the dishwasher)

Moral: Kind to fellow man/woman... excellent at mimicking others and generally able to acclimatize to any social environment

Animal: Has grounded sense of purpose, able to keep secrets... enjoys destroying things and watching destruction

yup.  sounds about right.

yip! yip! yip! yip!  Spring is coming!  Spring is coming! Spring is coming I can feel it I can smell it the sunlight is changing and the days are getting longer and the daffodils are coming and the bugs are starting to buzz again and I'm going to have in-laws very soon happy birthday Mr. Darwin and Abe Lincoln and Adam Boardman I am a magician I am a rabbit and I AM SO EXCITED!  aaiiiiIIIIIIII!

And I just spent all day boring students to death with the history of science and now its the weekend and I don't want to work so I'm settling down on the couch with my doggy and a copy of Jose Saramago's greatest hits.  No, not in the original Portuguese.  Rebecca if this is boring I'm going back to watching the King of Queens.  Or prepping more history of science lessons.  Its like the same thing.  Lavoisier pretty much was a UPS driver until the Jacobins cacked him.

Question for the team: Do I call/email/bother contacting Captain Surly on Saturday (which is also Valentine's Day) to wish him a happy birthday?  Its been over a year now, perhaps I should be supportive of him turning 43? By 43 I mean 32.  Oooh!  A poll!  Take the poll!

Student Evals Are In!

"She was more than monotone.  That's all that needs to be said if Ph.D. precedes her name."

I'm going to take that one as a compliment.

And as an excuse to incorporate more puppetry and ventriloquism into my lectures ("HEEEEY KIDS!!!  My name is Chuckles!  Ph.D. Hui invited me here today to tell you all about the Jacobins! YAAAAY!").