A conversation I had with my advisor today

Me: "Hey, so Ted said that the two of you are meeting tomorrow to discuss my final dissertation draft.  When do you want to meet all together to go over it?"

Money Wise: "Well Ted and I want to go over what changes you need to make in order to finish."

[my translation of this: "I need to finish reading the stupid thing and Ted finished it three weeks ago and has a lot of problems with it."]

Me: "Right.  So when are you free to meet?"

Money Wise: "We'll email you tomorrow about a time on Wednesday."

[my translation of this: "We'll email you tomorrow about a time on Wednesday."]

Me: "Okay.  I'm going to finish right?"

Money Wise: "Hmm... well, I'm sure you'll finish."

[my translation of this: "Hm, how can I give the most noncommittal answer to a yes or no question so that you'll be properly scared?"]

Me: "Oh jeez, you're scaring me you know."

Money Wise: "Hmph.  No reason to be scared..."

[my translation of this: "You have every reason to be scared."]

Money Wise again: "You will have to make some changes in order to finish."

[my translation of this: "I think you should turn this into a comparative project.  How is your Romanian?"]

Me: "Um.  Okay, now I'm terrified."

Money Wise: "..."

[my translation of this: "I'm going to be completely silent now so as to actually here the soft pop sound of your spirit breaking."]

And that's when I ran away.   

GAAAHHHH!

This is why I'm so high strung.  It didn't come naturally.  It took seven years of very careful cultivation.  I'm like a hothouse orchid.  Super-specialized, far too fragile to survive in the real world.